It's true, every once in a while you get handed, or have to hand someone else, a shit sandwich.
It's just the way it is.
I could tell you that if you play the positivity pipe long enough you'll be able to avoid this but I wouldn't dishonour you with a lie.
What I WILL do is share the age old art (handed down to me by my great, great, grand-daddy who was a five star Michelin chef shit sandwich maker - say THAT five times!) of how to lovingly make, and serve, an easily digestible shit sandwich that will keep 'em coming back for more.
You DO want them to come back don't you?
You've been handed the Divine opportunity to guide another explorer along their path so they can jump onto the next best lily-pad for their highest growth and expansion. THAT, my darling one, is an HONOUR and doesn't mean you have to be relieved of their friendship, love or respect.
In fact, if you follow the recipe I'm about to give you, your friendly return on sandwich (FROS) rate will easily be in the 95% zone.
It's true, even if you have to fire, divorce or grade someone's thesis, you'll feel good about the process and they'll be able to HEAR and FEEL that you genuinely care. And this is the most perfect place to begin...
Recipe for lovingly making, and serving, a Shit Sandwich:
1 full heart shaped cup of caring
1 heaping serving of kindness
1 measure of compassion
2 ladles of thoughtfulness
1 pocketful of fresh Kleenex (grand daddy always used a clean
hanky - at least he said it was clean - but kleenex is a solid substitute)
2 open arms ready to hug and hold
(coffee, wine, tequila and chocolate are optional)
1 looooooong moment of switching shoes (just long enough to know how you'd like to have your sandwich made and served)
Putting it together:
Sandwiches have 3 components - 2 pieces of bread that hold together a middle.
In this case the slices of bread are compliments.
C'mon not everything they are, did or said was pure putrescence, so give them genuine POSITIVE feedback.
The point here is to be sincere, people CAN feel if you're full of shit, or could care less, while you're packing their lunch.
Next, add the shit.
Make sure it is mixed well with compassion and thoughtfulness. (This is the "D" on that thesis, the words that point to the office door with their desk contents in a box, or the paperwork that says, "it's over" on a divorce lawyers letter head.)
Now top it off with the second slice of bread remembering to add dollops of kindness mayo and a few squirts of encouragement mustard. (depending on your relationship it can be sweet or spicy)
If you want to be creative and add some "let-us" talk again soon greens, or some freshly picked field tomatoes of "is there some way I can help", please do.
Pay close attention to your charge here. Watch their face. DO they need Kleenex or that 1950's hanky you have stashed in your sleeve?
Gage their emotional temperatures and when ready, offer your open arms and heart.
***Note*** in that specific moment they may not be ready to talk, let alone hug, but you can breathe deeply knowing that you did your loving best to say what needed to be said with clarity, compassion and, most of all, caring.
Stay tuned for the "how to elegantly receive" the shit sandwich and not take it personally.
Yah, that's a bit tricky but my granny always said, "you can handle what's been handed to you, that's why you have hands" (she wasn't very poetic but she got the job done!)
Here's to Cooking with love!