Like me, you too may have what I've come to refer to as coupons.
These saved coupons begin with a loving desire to let bygones be bygones and usually end with the gale force winds of a hurricane gone rogue.
These collections of unspoken discounts get built one-by-one.
Take my most recent coupon clipping extravaganza as an example:
It began with an innocence that only those of us who consciously deny the resentment that lives under our facade of false pleasure and service can understand.
My fool-me-daily dialogue went like this:
"I'll take the garbage out one more time and maybe they'll bring the cans in from the curb."
"They probably don't know any better."
"I'll lead by example!", and I sure did; If only they had paid attention...
"I like a clean stairway, laundry room, walk way and foyer so I'll clean up their pine needles, mud, lint, cigarette butt collection and flyers - AGAIN..."
"WTF is wrong with these people?"
"I'll try an experiment. I'll stop and see if they finally get it and pick-up the slack."
That last one bounced back on me like a well thrown boomerang and smacked me square in the head while I was busy looking elsewhere; and it hurt.
It hurt enough that I finally spoke up.
As happens, my coupon dumping at the check-this-out counter was not well received.
I was told that my coupons were invalid.
That I shouldn't have waited so long. (right on that front)
That I was over my allotment of usable coupons per transaction.
(they had a point here too)
And, until yesterday, this has been the way of it.
Too often have I held back only to be told that I'm over reacting, over reaching and over emotional when I finally let loose.Was I? was I being the over woman?
Not from my perspective.
From where I stood I was calm and clear and right and as the discussion grew in heat, I spat with the accuracy of a cobra.
My verbiage, knowledge of legal parameters, and strikes to the heart of their misconduct were swift and meant to cause alarm - and they did.
Gone was my concern for the relationship.
Absent were the desires that got me into coupon saving mode in the first place; the need to play nice, shut-up, and not rock the boat.
I was free.
Today, as I recount yesterdays events, I know I did the best thing for me and all concerned.
How do I know this amidst what looks like chaos?
By the way I feel.
I have no remorse. No guilt. No emotional hangover.
My head is high and my sprit is clear.
No longer will I collect coupons.
Instead, I will open my mouth, speak-up and ask for the price adjustments I need, in the here and now.
One last note, if you happen to have any coupons hanging around in your drawers, you might want to cash those babies in before they meet with the right cashier at the wrong time ...
With un-discounted Love.