The opposite of love is not fear it is indifference.
I caught myself being indifferent recently - it was a cold, austere place.
The wind blew through me.
Thoughts shielded my heart.
The sound of my voice was hollow, arid and incomplete.
Rage pounded on the door of my body and the blaming balm of suffering took command of my life - for a moment.
For an hour.
For a day.
Until I was released into the sea of myself.
It's like that for me, sometimes...
I get lost.
Tossed about by the winds of pain I find myself struggling to take back the wheel of my chosen destiny.
Of course I see how this sounds ludicrous and opens the gateway to a field of philosophically debatable questions but I know who I am and what I have chosen.
And the risks that go with it.
Indifference has no risks.
It is boring, blasé, bourgeois.
It is not the bloom of beauty that I inhale with fragrant delight.
It is not the dance of this wild heart beating its sonnet like a fire in my chest.
It is the call of death to life, the avoidance of being and the stalling of the soul.
The opposite of love is not fear, it is indifference and I refuse to serve a Master who does not love.